So my friend Vanessa and I went to a Professional Women’s Forum dinner last night. The topic of discussion was Debunking the Superwoman Myth – you know, how we as women try to do it ALL?! Although I am a career woman, mama and hobby lover – I actually don’t struggle too much with thinking I need to be a superwoman. I was telling Matt after I got home last night that maybe it’s because I was a single mama for 10 years, but I don’t have a problem NOT doing everything. I know I can’t be at every single practice, sign up for every volunteer need, work out every day, join the tennis club, or take on additional projects at work so I can advance quickly. I just can’t, and that’s ok. My kids are turning out just fine and guess what, I don’t have a homemade nutritious meal on the table every night… Sometimes it’s frozen lasagna, or bacon sandwiches or *gasp* drive thru! Our house is not always clean, the bills not always paid EXACTLY on time, and the state of my SUV is horrific 90% of the time (Matt just cleaned it out 2 weeks ago so right now it’s REALLY nice). The good news tho? We are all doing really well. It also helps that I now have a husband that believes in the 50/50 part of parenting, managing a household, financial responsibilities, etc. And what’s even better? When I can’t put in my 50%, he is more than willing to do extra – and that goes both ways. I will never understand those husbands that don’t help with bathtime or homework, or laundry, or cooking dinner. Dumb.
Last night was a good reminder tho – there is no need to do it all YOURSELF and it’s okay to say NO. The most helpful part was talking about helpful language to use with yourself and others. For example:
Don’t get in the mind trap of saying “I should/I must/I ought”… if you say/think that, you aren’t going to want to do it… start thinking in terms of “I want to/I will/I choose to”. For me I want to say less of “I should be working out 4 times a week”… or “I ought to cook nutritious meals for my family each week night”. I want to say more of “I want to find new healthy recipes to try with the family” and “I choose to take a run with Milo when the weather is nice this week”.
Also, don’t use the should/must/ought terminology when considering your expectations of others. Think more in terms of “I will ask…” Easy, right? Less of “My husband should do more laundry” and “My teenager should empty the dishwasher more”… and more of “I’m going to ask Matt to wash the sheets and towels this week” and “I will ask Cady to empty the dishwasher twice this week”. See, helpful hints, huh?
Beth and a panel of other professional women were our speakers last night. Her blog can be found HERE.
I started listing out monthly goals earlier this year and I’ve been pretty intentional about accomplishing them. I intended on starting to post them as well so last night’s dinner was perfectly timed!
The reading and writing speaks for itself. Those are things that I need to do for ME. Here in Texas our weather can be less than desirable for many months out of the year. However, right now it’s nice and I want to take advantage of that by walking/hiking/running with the family a couple times a week. I’m on the hunt for a new recipe to try this month. Last month I made a brand new soup and I’ll be sharing it this week. This month I’m on the hunt for a good pot pie or enchilada recipe. And yes, it’s October, so we will be heading out to pick up a few of our favorite orange gourds one weekend this month. The pumpkin patch has been a tradition in our family for more than a decade! I’m hoping to try a new one up in this neck of the woods and avoid some of the crazy crowds at the arboretum. What are your short term goals? It’s nice to challenge ourselves, but also good to remember to keep our expectations reasonable. 🙂
P.S. Last night I forgot to pay Vanessa back for purchasing my ticket (I had made a special trip to the ATM earlier in the day), I lost my phone (found later in her car), forgot to wear my invisalign trays even tho I have a dentist appt in a few days, didn’t sleep well because Milo got up TWICE last night (he was thirsty…) and overslept. So yeah, I’m NOT a superwoman – and I’m perfectly okay with that. *Logging off to go fix tuna helper*